Theunhappystonetroll vs Snacky

Unfog’s Smashaz of Da Twentisekond Waaagh!

Warboss Unfog: warboss (power klaw, warbike, cybork body)
Mek Driska Da Creator: big mek (kustom force field, ‘eavy armour, shoota/rokkit launcha, ammo runt)

Da Skavangers: 5 lootas = 75 pts
Da Skrowngers: 5 lootas = 75 pts

Da Ooniform Boyz: 12 ork boyz (nob, power klaw, boss pole, ‘eavy armour, big shoota, shootas, trukk)
Da Aarghh Boyz: 12 ork boyz (nob, power klaw, boss pole, ‘eavy armour, big shoota, shootas, trukk)
Da Smoker Boyz: 12 ork boyz (nob, power klaw, boss pole, ‘eavy armour, big shoota, shootas, trukk)
Da Ultra Boyz: 25 ork boyz (nob, power klaw, ‘eavy armour, big shoota x2, shootas)
Da Klanka: deff dread (extra dreadnought close combat weapon x2, grot riggers)

Da Buzzer Ladz: 2 deffkoptas (buzzsaw x1, twin-linked rokkit launchas x2)
Da Speedaz: 6 warbikers (nob, power klaw, boss pole)
Da Fastaz: 6 warbikers (nob, power klaw, boss pole)

Da Killa Tinz: 2 killa kans (grotzooka x2)

The Iron Rose Kabal

Urkhal Fleshmoulder: haemonculus (liquifier gun)

The Bloodborn: 3 Kabalite Trueborn (splinter cannon x2, venom with extra splinter cannon & night shields) 
The Pain Drinkers: 3 Kabalite Trueborn (splinter cannon x2, venom with extra splinter cannon & night shields) 
The Inflicters: 3 Kabalite Trueborn (splinter cannon x2, venom with extra splinter cannon & night shields) 

Warrior squad ‘Poison’: 10 Kabalite Warriors (splinter cannon, blaster, raider with splinter racks & night shields) 
Warrior squad ‘Stinger’: 10 Kabalite Warriors (splinter cannon, blaster, raider with splinter racks & night shields) 
Warrior squad ‘Fangs’: 10 Kabalite Warriors (splinter cannon, blaster, raider with splinter racks & night shields) 
Warrior squad ‘Claws’: 10 Kabalite Warriors (splinter cannon, blaster, raider with splinter racks & night shields) 
Warrior squad ‘Soul Eaters’: 20 Kabalite Warriors (splinter cannon x2) 

Blood Skies: Ravager (night shield, flicker field) 
Tormentor: Ravager (night shield, flicker field) 
Dark Light: Ravager (night shield, flicker field) 

Deployment: Spearhead
Mission: 3 objectives
Scout Moves: Da Buzzer Ladz made use of their scout move to turbo-boost to the middle of the battlefield.

Turn 1 Orks

As the battle commences, Da Buzzer Ladz fly closer to the Raider of squad ‘Claws’ while both Warbiker mobs turbo-boost alongside either flank like a noisy pincer. All three Trukks boost their engines and go flat-out: Da Ooniform Boyz park their Trukk in cover, close to Unfog and his squad, while the other boyz drive to the other side of the battlefield. Da Ultraboyz, together with Driska and both walker squadrons, move up in the middle of the army.
In the Shooting phase, Da Ultraboyz and the walkers run forwards. Da Buzzer Ladz use their rokkit launchas to blow up the Raider of squad ‘Claws’, killing four of the unfortunate Kabalite Warriors in the process. The Warriors keep their nerve though and pass all required Ld-tests. Da Skavangers aim their deffguns at the Raider of squad ‘Stinger’. With 3 shots each, they quickly wreck the skimmer but squad ‘Stinger’ passes its pinning test. The other Lootas follow their example and shoot at the Raider of squad ‘Poison’ with 2 shots each. The vehicle explodes. One Warrior of squad ‘Stinger’ dies in the blast, while 3 Warriors of squad ‘Poison’ never make it out of their transport ever again. The destruction caused is too much, and squad ‘Poison’ fails its pinning test.
Da Buzzer Ladz feel lucky and assault squad ‘Claws’. The Kabalite Warriors are taken off guard and fail to cause any wounds, while the Deffkoptas kill 3 of them. The Warriors break ranks and flee, but are caught by the enthousiastic Deffkoptas who consolidate 6”.

Turn 1 Dark Eldar

Seeing the green horde advance with terrifying speed, the Ravager ‘Blood Skies’ moves away from the enemy. The Soul Eaters seek revenge though, and advance towards Da Buzzer Ladz. Raider squad ‘Fangs’ moves closer towards Da Fastaz and disembarks. The Ravager ‘Tormentor’ moves along the flanks, looking for a perfect target. All three Trueborn squads advance in their Venom transports towards Unfog and Da Speedaz.
Seeking to avenge their fallen brethren, the Soul Eaters open fire upon Da Buzzer Ladz, causing a nice 11 wounds which is enough to bring the two Deffkoptas down with a loud crash. Two Trueborn squads are in range to shoot at Unfog and his bikers. A massive volley of splinters fills the air, wounding the unit 15 times. Five bikers die, their nob is wounded and Unfog is wounded twice. Both Tormentor and Dark Light shoot at the Trukk of Da Ooniform Boyz, but the ramshackle thing seems blessed by Mork (or possibly Gork) and passes all cover saves. Warrior squads ‘Stinger’ and ‘Fangs’ shoot at Da Fastaz, killing their nob and 2 other bikers. Stubborn as they are, all Ld-tests are passed. The Raider of squad ‘Fangs’ fires its dark lance at Da Smoker Boyz' Trukk and stuns it. Finally, Blood Skies unleashed its massive amount of fire power at Da Aarghh Boyz’ Trukk, but only manages to destroy its ‘eavy shoota. 

Turn 2 Orks

Da Ooniform Boyz speed their Trukk towards the Soul Eaters and jump out of their transport. Da Smoker Boyz disembark from their stunned Trukk and move towards the Dark Eldar lines. Unfog rides away on his own and directs his warbike towards the Ravager ‘Tormentor’, while Da Speedaz' nob goes for the Ravager ‘Dark Light’. Spotting the dark pointy ears a bit further away, Da Aarghh Boyz drive closer and disembark aswell. Da Fastaz speed their bikes towards squad ‘Stinger’, and thus forging the beginning of a long fight...as will be made clear troughout the rest of the battle report. Further away from the front line, Da Ultra Boyz and their walker entourage advance again, slow and steady.
Both Loota mobs shoot at Blood Skies, but the slender vehicle is saved by its flicker field and no damage is caused. Da Ooniform Boyz’ Trukk pumps ‘eavy shoota rounds into one of the Venoms, but fails to do damage it. Both Unfog and Da Speedaz fail to put some dents in their Ravager targets, living up to the Orks’ famously bad shooting skills. The other Warbikers want to set this straight though, killing 6 Warriors from squad ‘Stinger’. Da Smoker Boyz follow their example and shoot at squad ‘Fangs’, mowing down 4 frail Dark Eldar Warriors. A bit less impressing are Da Aarghh Boyz, who only kill 2 Warriors from squad ‘Poison’, but they compensate by ‘aaarghing’ loudly when pressing the triggers of their shootas. Da Ooniform Boyz find a big target in squad ‘Soul Eaters’, but only manage to kill one Warrior, thanks to the Feel No Pain bonus from Urkhal the Haemonculus. In the middle of the field, Da Ultra Boyz run 6”, followed closely by Da Klanka with a run of 5”. Da Killa Tinz lose a bit of ground with a run of only 1”.
In the Assault phase, the Orks fall upon their targets from the Shooting phase with almost gleeful enthousiasm. In the combat between Da Speedaz and squad ‘Stinger’, one Warbiker died while no Warrior died in return. Da Speedaz held their ground though and the fight continued. Squad ‘Fangs’ manages kill 1 Boy and wound the nob of Da Smoker Boyz, only to be wiped out afterwards. The same fate is beset upon squad ‘Poison’. They are completly obliterated by Da Aarghh Boyz. Aarghh!! Having assaulted their big target, Da Ooniform Boyz inflict a whopping 15 wounds to the Soul Eaters, but only 7 Warriors did not make their Feel No Pain saves. As the Orks only lost one of their numbers, the warriors lose the fight, turn tails and run. Da Ooniform Boyz can’t manage to catch up with them though and the Soul Eaters flee to within 1” of the table edge. The nob of Da Speedaz is only able to stun Dark Light, while Unfog sets a better example by immobilizing and destroying one dark lance of Tormentor. 

Turn 2 Dark Eldar

A bit shaken by the primal fury of the greenskins, the Dark Eldar begin their turn 2. Raider ‘Fangs’ moves away from the closest Orks. The Soul Eaters successfully regroup and move 3” towards Da Aarghh Boyz, determined to shut them up. Bloodskies flies away and lands close to Da Ooniform Boyz’ Trukk. The Bloodborn and the Pain Drinkers disembark and their Venoms move towards Da Aarghh Boyz.
Both Bloodskies and Tormentor let loose all guns upon unfortunate Unfog, shooting the living daylight out of him. The mighty Warboss has fallen. The Pain Drinkers take aim at the nob of Da Speedaz and the Ork quickly dies in agony when the poisoned splinters enter his body. Still safely inside their Venom, the Inflicters shoot at Da Ooniform Boyz. The empty Venom of the Pain Drinkers does the same, leaving only the Ooniform nob standing. The Bloodborn Venom finishes the job and assassinates him, leaving his body pierced with darts. The Soul Drinkers shoot with all their might at Da Aarghh Boyz, but only manages to cause 5 wounds. The nob takes a hit and 4 boyz die. The Raider ‘Fangs’ shoots at Da Smoker Boyz’ Trukk again, this time immobilizing it.
The only combat fought at this point of the battle, is the one between Da Fastas and Warrior squad ‘Stinger’. The Warriors fail to kill one of the warbikers. The Orks however can smash one Dark Eldar to pulp. The Warriors pass their test though and the fight continues...

Turn 3 Orks

Both Da Aarghh Boyz and Da Smoker Boyz move towards Urkhal and his Soul Drinkers. Da Ooniform Boyz’ trukk rides in the direction of the Trueborn responsible for killing its squad. The big mob of Ultra Boyz and the walkers continue moving up the battlefield, still unable to catch up with the remaining Dark Eldar forces.
With a enormously loud “Waaagh!” the Shooting phase starts. Da Aarghh Boyz waaagh! 2”, as do Da Smoker Boyz. Da Ultra Boyz show they’z ultra and waaagh! 5”. Meanwhile, Da Skavangerz unleash a storm of 3 shots each upon Bloodskies. The Ravager explodes in a ball of blue soulfire. Da Skrowngers are not impressed and try to do better. They shoot at one of the empty Venoms and manage to explode it aswell, with only 2 shots each. Da Ooniform Trukk opens fire and kills 2 of the Pain Drinkers. Finally in range, Da Killa Tinz aim their grotzookas at the Raider ‘Fangs’ which is hiding behind Da Smoker Trukk. All shots hit, but in return the raider passes all its cover saves.
Da Aarghh Boyz charge the Bloodborn but they find themselves way over their head. The Trueborn kill 4 Orks, while only losing one of their own. The Orks run away but are cut down by the pursueing Eldar. Da Smoker Boyz however find the Soul Eaters and “da stuntie fleshie fing” a bit softer. The Soul Eaters inflict only 2 wounds on the Orks, but the Orks manage to kill 5 Warriors. The Soul Eaters run away again, and this time, they run over the table edge...never to be seen again (perhaps as Wracks in the next battle, if Urkhal is merciful). As said above, the combat between Da Fastaz and squad ‘Stinger’ is a drag. Both units do nothing.

Turn 3 Dark Eldar

Seeing a big mob of blue armoured boyz advancing towards their position, the Trueborn and their Venom transports back away from Da Ultra Boyz, towards their short table edge. The Ravager ‘Dark Light’ flies past Da Ooniform trukk, while the Raider ‘Fangs’ takes up position behind Da Smoker Trukk.
Dark Light takes aim and fires all dark lances at Da Klanka, but the sturdy Deff Dread passes all cover saves granted by Driska’s force field. All remaining Trueborn and Venoms shoot everything they’ve got at the last of Da Smoker Boyz, wiping the mob from the face of the table.
Da Fastaz vs squad ‘Stinger’: both units do nothing. Again.

Turn 4 Orks

Not letting his prey escape, Da Ooniform trukk moves very close to the Trueborn units. Da Killa Tinz break from the main group and walk towards raider ‘Fangs’.
Both Da Ooniform Trukk and Da Ultra Boyz shoot at the remnants of the two disembarked Trueborn units, killing all but one of the Dark Eldar nobility. Da Smoker trukk shoots at the Raider ‘Fangs’, and manages to destroy its dark lance. The Kans only manage to stun the Raider with their grotzookas.
In the Assault phase, the kans fall upon the Raider ‘Fangs’ like the angry tin cans they are. 'Fangs' explodes, leaving only a bit crater behind. Da Klanka falls 1” short of assaulting Dark Light, so misses his chance of the dent the Ravager gave him in the previous turn. And again, the Warbikers and the Warriors keep dancing around each other.
Damn, forgot to shoot with the Lootas...

Turn 4 Dark Eldar

Dark Light sees Da Klanka closing in and moves 12” away from it. The Venom of the Pain Drinkers moves along the flank, looking dangerously at Da Skavangers.
Now, at a save distance, Dark Light fires at the Deff Dread, wrecking the clawing can before it could do anything this battle. As if looking dangerous wasn’t enough, the Venom ‘Pain Drinkers’ wipe out the Loota unit with their splinter weapons. The remaining Venoms and the last Trueborn shoot at Da Ultra Boyz, causing 11 wounds, but only 4 Orks bite the dust, thanks to Driska’s mighty kustom force field.
A change in the combat between squad ‘Stinger’ and Da Fastaz! The orks kill one Warrior, but the last one passes his test. Combat continues...

Turn 5 Orks

Strechting to a line, Da Ultra Boyz move towards the Trueborn, hoping to finally wipe them all out. The Killa Kans move away from the wreckage of ‘Fangs’ and try to rejoin the main army.
Avenging their ‘collegues’, Da Skrowngers shoot at the Venom ‘Pain Drinkers’, but the best they can do is immobilizing it. Da Ultray Boyz shoot at the Inflicters' Venom. First Driska shows da boyz how it’s done. He takes aim with his shoota/rokkit launcha. Rolls a 4. Beats his ammo runt a bit. Rolls a 5! Then rolls a 1. His boyz do better though and explode the Venom, but none of the Inflicters die in the explosion. The last Pain Drinker is mowed down by the 'eavy shoota of Da Ooniform Trukk.
Finally, Da Fastaz kill the last Warrior and – relieved the combat is over – consolidate 5”.

Turn 5 Dark Eldar

Vowing revenge for their destroyed Venom, the Inflicters desperatly shoot at Da Ultra Boyz, but only kill 3 Orks. Kustom Force Field! The immobilised Venom shoots at them too, killing 4. Where’s the force field now? All remaining Ravagers also target Da Ultra Boyz, causing 3 wounds, but all cover saves passed. Kustom Force Field!
Snacky down!

The battle ends after turn 5. A ‘2’ was rolled to see if there would be a turn 6. The Orks win this battle, as Da Ultra Boyz are within 3” of the central objective.

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